Golden Throats

When you're first getting started in the world of Bad Music collecting, the first thing you notice is that there are an awful lot of celebrity recordings out there. In fact, there are so many that several compilations have appeared. The first and foremost is the "Golden Throats" series of albums put out by Rhino Records. These are definitely the best of the lot.

We here at the Bad Music Foundation have a modest yet powerful collection of celebrity recordings. In this article, we take a look at just a few of them, and provide ample audio evidence that some of these recording artists should have never left their day jobs.

Let's start right off with the best one of the lot: Ted Knight's "Hi Guys". As you may or may not remember, Knight was one of the stars of the Mary Tyler Moore show. He played Ted Baxter, the bumbling newsman who occasionally said "Hi, guys!" when he entered a room. Apparently some record executive thought they could turn that infrequent catchphrase into a hit album, because we have here the final product.

"Hi Guys"
MP3 audio, 1.26 Mb

Besides "Hi Guys", there are covers of songs ranging from "Blueberry Hill", "Who Put the Bomp", and even "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini". I'd share more of these songs, but I have a strong feeling that they're going to show up on the next Bad Music compilation, so I wouldn't dream of spoiling the surprise.

Believe it or not, Jack Palance recorded a country album. You probably still don't believe me, even with the record cover you see on the left. You might wish to check out volume 3 of the "Golden Throats" series for Jack's version of "The Green, Green Grass of Home". Here, we present Jack's version of "A Little Bitty Tear", a Hank Cochran song which at the very least gives us the chance to hear Jack Palance sing a song with the words "little bitty" in the title.

"A Little Bitty Tear"
MP3 audio, 1.36 Mb

If you like the singing style of Mr. Palance, you might love the desktop pattern that we've created using the picture from this album cover. Just go to the Gallery index page and look for the link to desktop patterns.

Of course, not every star produces something that can be considered Bad. Carol Burnett, for example, has a fine and sturdy singing voice, and recorded plenty of albums. This one features such songs as Carole King's "It's Too Late", "Who's Sorry Now", and "Sunrise, Sunset" from "Fiddler on the Roof". Unfortunately for our purposes, these songs are fine and dandy, but they're not worth reproducing here.

Terry Bradshaw also produced a fine album of cover tunes, with his version of "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" actually sounding pretty good. But we can't pass him by without showing you the back cover of the album he recorded, just for Terry's outfit.

Nice, eh?

George Burns, of course, recorded a couple albums full of Golden Throats. There's the infamous version of "Fixing A Hole" from the equally infamous "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" movie soundtrack, about which the less said, the better. And there's this album, "George Burns Sings", from which the "Golden Throats" series took his version of "With A Little Help From My Friends", and the Bad Music Foundation used a medley which contained the songs "King of the Road" and "Satisfaction". There's not much else of interest on the album, in our opinion, but we just had to show you the "Sgt. Pepper" rip-off cover.

Noted drunk comedian Foster Brooks recorded an album called "Foster Brooks 'Sings'", which impies that he's not really singing. Well, the album does contain plenty of singing (and also "singing"), so I'm guessing Foster was just being modest. Why, just listen to this medley of the songs "When You Were Sweet Sixteen" and "The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi":

"Medley (When You Were Sweet Sixteen/The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi)"
MP3 audio, 1.40 Mb

Okay, so maybe that's not the best "singing" you've ever heard, but you have to give Mr. Brooks credit for trying. Don't you?

Let's end this look at celebrity singers by checking out two celebrities who were primarily known for their singing. Sammy Davis, Jr. was, of course, a great singer, but this album from early in his career provided some interesting Bad Music moments. As part of his early nightclub act, Mr. Davis would perform the hits of the day while imitating various celebrities. (To his credit, he never preceded any imitation with the sentence "I think it might go something like this...")

We have featured a cut from this album on a previous Bad Music release, and here's another taste of this album. First, Sammy begins singing "Lulu's Back in Town" in the voice of Mel Torme (the singer who was most identified with the song), and then switches halfway in the song to ... Jerry Lewis?!

"Lulu's Back in Town"
MP3 audio, 1.63 Mb

And finally, here's good old Donny Osmond, who jumped on the disco train back in the 70s, with his album "Disco Train". Sadly, as far as we know, the train pictured on the cover did not hit Mr. Osmond. The actual trainwreck occurs on the record itself. Just listen to the title track from the song:

"Disco Train"
MP3 audio, 2.00 Mb

With all these celebrities in the recording studio, it's a wonder that the actual musicians had any time at all to record their own albums. But thankfully, these stars recorded albums that proved that as singers, they're wonderful actors.

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